


TAKE A
LOOK AT THE PICTURE FIRST.
SO, WHAT DID YOU SEE?
NOW PROCEED
AND READ THE FOLLOWING EXPLANATION OF WHAT
YOU REALLY SAW . . . I'M SURE YOU'LL FIND THIS VERY INTERESTING.

Research
has shown that young children cannot identify the intimate couple because
they do not have prior memory associated with such scenario.
What they will see are the nine dolphins.
Additional note: This is a test to determine if you already have a corrupted
mind. If it's hard for you to find the dolphins within 3 seconds, your mind
is indeed corrupted.



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My daddy's got a ponytail, he rides me on his bike. Folks 'round here don't go for us, but who cares what they like? Dads ponytail, it floats out free, it floats back in the breeze. It hits my face and tickles me, and sometimes makes me sneeze. Dads tattoo is black and blue, and printed cross his chest. It's an Eagle with some letters, that spell what he likes best. His Christian name is William, but they call him Crazy Charlie. And it's him and me against the world, when we're on his Harley. Who cares about the citizens? Who cares what they like? My dad has a ponytail, and he rides me on his bike. It's me and him against the world, no matter what they say. And I'll have my own ponytail, a bike, and a son someday. |

There
is cold, and there is cold on a motorcycle. Cold on a motorcycle is like being
beaten with cold hammers while being kicked with cold boots, a bone bruising
cold. The wind's big hands squeeze the heat out of my body and whisk it away;
caught in a cold October rain, the drops don't even feel like water. They
feel like shards of bone fallen from the skies of Hell to pock my face. I
expect to arrive with my cheeks and forehead streaked with blood, but that's
just an illusion, just the misery of nerves not designed for highway speeds.
Despite this, it's hard to give up my motorcycle in the fall and I rush to
get it on the road again in the spring; lapses of sanity like this are common
among motorcyclists. When you let a motorcycle into your life you're changed
forever. The letters "MC" are stamped on your driver's license right
next to your sex and height as if "motorcycle" was just another
of your physical characteristics, or maybe a mental condition. But when warm
weather finally does come around all those cold snaps and rainstorms are paid
in full because a motorcycle summer is worth any price.
A motorcycle is not just a two-wheeled car; the difference between driving
a car and climbing onto a motorcycle is the difference between watching TV
and actually living your life. We spend all our time sealed in boxes and cars
are just the rolling boxes that shuffle us languidly from home-box to work-box
to store-box and back, the whole time entombed in stale air, temperature regulated,
sound insulated, and smelling of carpets.
On a motorcycle
I know I'm alive. When I ride, even the familiar seems strange and glorious.
The air has weight and substance as I push through it and its touch is as
intimate as water to a swimmer. I feel the cool wells of air that pool under
trees and the warm spokes of sunlight that fall through them. I can see everything
in a sweeping 360 degrees, up, down and around, wider than PanaVision and
higher than IMAX and unrestricted by ceiling or dashboard.
Sometimes I even hear music. It's like hearing phantom telephones in the shower
or false doorbells when vacuuming; the pattern-loving brain, seeking signals
in the noise, raises acoustic ghosts out of the wind's roar. But on a motorcycle
I hear whole songs: rock 'n roll, dark orchestras, women's voices, all hidden
in the air and released by speed. At 30 miles an hour and up, smells become
uncannily vivid. All the individual tree-smells and flower-smells and grass-smells
flit by like chemical notes in a great plant symphony. Sometimes the smells
evoke memories so strongly that it's as though the past hangs invisible in
the air around me, wanting only the most casual of rumbling time machines
to unlock it.
A ride on a summer afternoon can border on the rapturous. The sheer volume
and variety of stimuli is like a bath for my nervous system, an electrical
massage for my brain, a systems check for my soul. It tears smiles out of
me: a minute ago I was dour, depressed, apathetic, numb, but now, on two wheels,
big, ragged, windy smiles flap against the side of my face, billowing out
of me like air from a decompressing plane. Transportation is only a secondary
function. A motorcycle is a joy machine. It's a machine of wonders, a metal
bird, a motorized prosthetic. It's light and dark and shiny and dirty and
warm and cold lapping over each other; it's a conduit of grace, it's a catalyst
for bonding the gritty and the holy.
I still
think of myself as a motorcycle amateur, but by now I've had a handful of
bikes over the years and slept under my share of bridges. I wouldn't trade
one second of either the good times or the misery. Learning to ride was one
of the best things I've done. Cars lie to us and tell us we're safe, powerful,
and in control. The air-conditioning fans murmur empty assurances and whisper,
"Sleep, sleep." Motorcycles tell us a more useful truth: we are
small and exposed, and probably moving too fast for our own good, but that's
no reason not to enjoy every minute of the ride.